Introducing "Glimmer"

A lovely tool to feel more comfort in the world. Glimmer is the less talked about cousin of "Triggered"

Hi Readers, As we enter the week of “thanksgiving” I’m thankful for the term glimmer. Like learning the term Post Traumatic Growth, glimmers are in beautiful opposition to “triggers” and something I felt happening to me even though I didn’t have a label.

I hope you find so many glimmers in your holiday week. Take it if it serves you. Share it if it resonates.

And don’t forget the giveaway ends this week. Details after the post.

MEET GLIMMER

We’ve all heard the terminology “triggered” where an event or thing catapults our vagus nerve off the edge of the Grand Canyon. In opposition to that, I’d like to introduce you to the term “glimmer” coined by Deb Dana in Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory  where she says, “Glimmers refer to small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm… We're not talking great, big, expansive experiences of joy or safety or connection, these are micro moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.”

I was personally using glimmers before I had a word or term to frame it. I collected these warm micro-moments like a voracious pescatarian at a seafood brunch buffet. 

Throughout my day, glimmers were everywhere and suddenly I could see them without work or effort. It became my tactic in the hard times, and frankly, life’s splendor when everything went well. 

Two dear friends on separate occasions, observing the way I spoke about life, said it reminded them of being on mushrooms. I wish I didn’t need to cross over to near-death to easily pass through life to see its radiance with ease, but that ship has sailed.

I admit, for many, the idea of finding glimmers may be work. And that’s okay too. As long as you see them. Acknowledging these small moments is like the opposite of the phrase “death by a thousand cuts.” 

It’s life by a thousand tiny joys.

Knowing they exist can help find them in the first place. And everyone may have different glimmers too; the smell of chocolate, the chorus of your favorite song, the smile in your child, the first sip of coffee, the feeling of a warm quilt, making someone laugh, helping someone. It’s not complicated and it’s beautifully accessible. 

While triggers bring our body to a place of readiness for trouble, panic, and unease, glimmers bring us back to baseline.

I won’t get into details, but this is 100% a chemical brain reaction.

If you feel particularly in a state of stress, I invite you to remind yourself of glimmers. Their existence is just as powerful as the trigger.

While we can’t always cure what sends us into panic, we can sometimes redirect the energy to a place of beauty and safety.

The other night, I was bit by a spider shortly after putting July to bed. I went to unhook a gate outside and the little fella pierced me like a pin prick. I squealed, flicked the dark bug into the night, and ran to wash my hand. Immediately my next move was to google, “what happens after a spider bite.”

While most spider bites aren’t serious, home alone I spiraled into my own spider web of stress and panic.

I took a shower, self-monitoring to the point of exhaustion, and crawled into bed, looking at the time. 

If I feel okay in an hour, I thought, it’s probably not serious. 

So how did I spend the next potentially grueling hour? I wrote a thank you note to a friend. I drew a picture of a tree while listening to the wind blow through the leaves. I read a book about the meaning of dreams, looking up tidal waves. I didn’t plan to do those things - I just went along, moment by moment, following the next lovely feeling after another. And when the hour ended, and I didn’t have worsening symptoms, I texted Zach I was going to bed and to check me to make sure I wasn’t dead from a spider bite, but I’m probably fine.

And then I went to bed… and I was fine.

I had a choice, lean into the panic spiral or lean into following something else just as powerful. Because, also, let’s face it, panicking could give me false symptoms. 

And in the end, I had a nice hour. I’m not saying I wasn’t concerned and totally weirded out, but I am saying, by following the glimmer, everything was alright in a way that felt much kinder.

My dear,

In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.

In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.

In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.

I realized, through it all, that…

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

Truly yours
– Albert Camus, The Stranger

When I had July in January, I thought of this quote often. July was my invincible summer. Inside us, we have a well we often don’t tap into. 

For how do we become resilient? You face life’s profoundly difficult side. You fail a lot and get back up and keep going, realizing most of life’s challenges are just setbacks or speed bumps and not road closures. You alone decide what is a dead end and what isn’t. 

And just because life doesn’t look like you’d planned doesn’t mean it isn’t a dreamy, wondrous and bountiful life. You are a magical miracle creature on a path to a place you might not have imagined but that’s not failure- that’s resilience too.

In times to distress or just disappointment, look for glimmers.

I hope reading this is a glimmer for you. 

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Do you have glimmer moments? Share a favorite from your morning to inspire others!

Reader Comment of the Week

“Bravo, Taylor. You're a true force of nature, a beautiful human being and an amazing role model for us all.” Ellen Mark. Being too kind… but I will admit I am a force. I don’t know about role model, but hopefully folks can learn from my messy life.

New Giveaway!

The November giveaway is easy. Leave a comment on any post letting me know your thoughts before Thanksgiving. One winner gets a $25 gift certificate to Starbucks or Amazon, winners choice.

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If you’re new here and wondering, “what happened to this lady?” read The Fighter Still Remains Part 1. xo

I started writing this when I was on dialysis. It’s intended for folks on a healing journey or those caregivers and family supporting someone with a challenging diagnosis. I hope to include excerpts here as I write. NOTE: This is not intended to replace actual medical guidance. Please consult your doctors on your individual challenges and situations. Also names have been changed for most of my medical staff.

Thank you forever and always to Roy Lenn and Richard Burwick as well your founding level donations.