The Angel POV

Surviving death, changes how I see life...

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maybe the best photo I've ever taken

Dearest RDG Readers -

Greetings from the edge of the Great Lakes in Michigan. I’ve been traveling and working a great deal these days - I’m in and out of various time zones and my head is spinning a bit with work stress, but in the quiet still moments I get a glimpse of the celestial… I think it’s something we can all tune into.

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The Angel’s View

Sometimes I watch Zach and July playing from afar, and I imagine that this is what I’d be watching as an angel… if I hadn’t survived.

I know this sounds dark on the surface - but the fact that I see them play without me and knowing I can join them is my life’s immense happy-ever-after.

On the shores of Lake Michigan, in the heat of deep summer, I sit on the beach and watch Zach pretend to be a sea monster… chasing July, who wants to be chased and never caught.

Zach’s exuberance radiates as he makes himself big, widening his arms and towering above her. He then deftly dives to the side of her, purposefully missing her but always splashing her.

She giggles and squeals and taunts him for more - loving the game and knowing she’s safe from him at the same time.

And I watch them both from a distance, I smile at how this moment is unfolding… like a beautiful gift seared on my memory.

She won’t always be so small and joyful. Zach won’t always be the gleeful father of a 4 year old. And this moment in time will pass quickly.

But I’m here capturing it.

I pull out my camera to keep it. An extra insurance policy for my memory.

Then he opens his arms wide to monster again, as is the established pattern and she instead goes to him in an embrace.

They hug in waves - bound together always.

I wish I had a dad like Zach. My father had too many real monsters to battle.

But I do remember being tiny in the deep ocean waves… past the break where I couldn’t stand.

My dad would hold me up - safe from the darkness below.

Some of my favorite memories of him were when he would lift me in the water.

He’s an angel now himself - finally free of the monsters. Maybe still holding me up…?

Maybe he’s watching me now, while I watch Zach and July.

I imagine we give the angels a good show.

I don’t know the whole point to this whole “life” thing, but I can tell you that witnessing the joy of the people we love is a primal energizing gift.

Seeing human suffering abounds… through the news and in our lives. I try not to look away because we must act to help others. I believe this is our fundamental human assignment - lifting up one other.

I think my life’s greatest satisfaction has been around finding a path that helps others. I often feel I was sent back to life with an assignment. When my life veers from it, I feel profound unease. I think we reach our full potential as humans when we find a path that aligns with supporting the health of this world, making it ultimately a more safe and loving place.

If you hide from the pain of the world, you can’t know how to help. It’s especially important if you’re lucky to have priviledge to not insulate yourself so completely you ignore the suffering. The world needs you.

But I also believe, you have to also tune into to the beauty and the joy of others regularly. Especially those you love.

I encourage everyone to tune into the Angel POV on the gleeful moments of others.

Wholly take in a moment that isn’t about you - free from your ego or interference. Leave yourself behind and just allow yourself to witness pure joy for others.

And then go live and take part and love on.

Being alive with Zach and July is a gift.

Recently, I was traveling for work and I kept having this gnawing feeling that I had forgotten something.

Until I realized all that I was missing was them.

If you want to see the video… it’s here:

Your supportive comments help fuel this work too. Do you all watch The Pitt? Thank you all so much!

COMMENT OF THE WEEK

“Great post, Taylor. I agree that love is a powerful and perhaps misunderstood. To think tech giants think AI can replace it 😉” Kristen

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If you’re new here and wondering, “what happened to this lady?” read:

I started writing this when I was on dialysis. It’s intended to be both memoir and a practical tool to help folks who might be going through something similar or those caregivers and family supporting someone with a challenging diagnosis. NOTE: This is not intended to replace actual medical guidance. Please consult your doctors on your individual challenges and situations. Please talk to your clinicians before adjusting any of your care protocols.

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