How to be productive when you just feel like lying down?

The Ever-present Challenges of Adulting While Sick

This week’s post is sponsored by KNOW RARE.

Angry mail I’ve avoided as long as possible.

Hi Friend,

First, are you reading this lying down?

Feels good, right? Feet up, lounging? Maybe under a cozy blanket…?

And if you’re not lying down, don’t you want to?

It’s likely there’s some not-fun-task you’re avoiding. Maybe it’s your taxes. Maybe it’s making a handful of phone calls about a bill that seems too high. Maybe it’s fighting an insurance denial. Maybe it’s applying for a job you stumbled upon that looks perfect for you.

Something looms - you know you need to do it. But there’s a block.

You’ve worked hard. You’re tired. You’ve done so much already today. 

Or maybe you’re just waking up and you’re still tired even though you slept most of the night? Or you didn’t sleep most of the night but desperately wanted to?

And then maybe, and most frustratingly, on top of all that, you don’t feel well. This extra layer of challenge feels so hard to push through. Pain, fatigue, general discomfort - you wonder, how am I supposed to get anything done when I feel down for the count?

I’ve been there. I am still there.

How do we maintain function when everything feels relentless?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some tactics that work for me. Life doesn’t stop just because we feel sick, tired, depressed, and/or in pain. Especially if it’s a chronic condition.

1. Gameplan your procrastination. Make a list of all the things you want to do and then prioritize. What things can wait? What things can’t? Anything that can wait, I put it on my calendar for next week. But I LITERALLY put it on the calendar. I won't forget it. I pick a time and put it there like a scheduled meeting. 

2. Do quick tasks first. For the things that can’t wait, I assess how much time they might take. If it's a quick ten minute task - I do it first. And I try to do it in the morning when I have peak energy. Ticking off a bunch of hot items feels good.

3. Start with tasks you can do in bed. Maybe you can pay bills, job search, and reply to emails from the comfort of your own bed. Turn on some lively classical music to keep your brain stimulated, brew a comforting cup of tea or coffee, and then get to work.

4. Take breaks too. I sometimes set a timer for an hour or 90 minutes. When the timer goes off, I reward myself with a snack or a nap or a shower. Managing our energy really helps us have the stamina to accomplish tasks that drain us. Maybe you only have 30 minutes today. Tomorrow you might have two hours. Be honest with yourself. If you aim for two hours and it turns into one, that’s okay too. 50% is better than 0%. We gotta glass-half-full this stuff when we aren’t feeling our best.

5. If the task involves someone else or a company, block off calendar time. I assess which tasks involve other people or phone calls and I schedule them accordingly. Sometimes we have to navigate hours of operation, lunch breaks, or other availability factors. 

6. Reinvent long phone call hold times. We often find ourselves avoiding calls when we suspect long hold times. In our home, you can often find us dancing to hold-music or making up silly lyrics to go along with it. I guess that comes from living with a musician. But when those holds go on longer than 15 minutes, a little multitasking trick I use; I open my mail. Opening mail is not fun for me. It often piles up. So when I am on hold, that’s when I open mail. Another tip, do an activity that stimulates your brain, like a puzzle or crossword, while you wait. It’ll help combat brain fog and make the wait playfully productive. But if you don’t have energy for two things at once, maybe that hold time is when you treat yourself to streaming your favorite show. Since holds can be HOURS LONG, it’s a nice distraction. Just don’t distract yourself so much that you miss when someone actually answers.

7. Can you delegate? If we’re really down, maybe a friend or family member with more energy can help. Perhaps they can do a little bit of the legwork for us? Especially if it’s a physically straining task like chores, errands, or something that would take them ten minutes. It’s okay to ask for help. 

8. Get an accountability partner for tasks we really need to get done but are procrastinating. I remember it was really a daunting chore filling out disability forms. But it’s a task so vital to our survival and it was a task I needed to complete on my own. I literally invited my sister-in-law over and asked her to sit with me and make me do it. She simply sat next to me on the couch while I accomplished all the forms. Just by being present and helping me emotionally tackle the task allowed me to feel supported. We don’t have to “adult” alone. If there’s a task you are avoiding, like your taxes or applying for work - invite someone over and have them help be present for you.

9. Create boundaries. It helps to create times for yourself when you take all the pressure off. Like for me, when the sun sets, I try to set down my obligations and worries. As they say in the chronic illness world, I’ve got no spoons left at sundown. Don’t judge yourself for needing “off hours.” We are creatures of nature and it’s okay to go and unapologetically burrow. 

10. Change your environment. Sometimes we need more light. Likely we need to set “do not disturb” on our phones. Or put our phones aside altogether if the lure of social media is too strong. Again, music is a very effective tool for me. My therapist is constantly suggesting I work from my lounge chair outside to get fresh air but still have my feet up. Often, I change my location with each hyper-focus task. I suffer from ADHD (low H for me), but I find I can really lock-in and focus on a new task if I reorient my body and find a new comfy spot to work. Headphones also help too if you have other people around to signal that you’re trying to focus and need to curtail distractions.

11. Be patient with yourself. It’s hard to be productive and achieve our goals, or even tread water, when we beat ourselves up. I know this first hand. Radically accepting our limitations can help us move into a space of grace. Everyone has good days and bad days - and that’s true no matter whether you’re in the Kingdom of the Sick or the Well. As the saying goes, nothing blooms in nature all year. But that said, we still have to show up for ourselves and our families. If you find none of these tactics help, talk to a therapist or your doctor. Sometimes medication helps - I get up with more pep aided by the support of an SSRI. I’m also more productive in the Summer with more sunlight. Maybe you need an update in pain management or maybe you’re low on Vitamin B. There are so many factors that impact our ability to function. 

Give yourself some love and understanding and know, you’re not alone. At the very least, your pal Taylor is challenged by all this too.

Like my next task is to find a time in my calendar to do my taxes. And I know I’ll feel really good when I climb that mountain. 

But in the short term, I just need to put away some clutter that’s accumulated while I’ve had a respiratory illness. My husband will hold me accountable. And as a reward, I’ll have a piece of chocolate and a nap.

It’s all about balance after all. Which isn’t easy when you get dizzy all the time.

But if I get dizzy, I lay down again. And then, when it passes, I’ll get back up. Xo

This week’s post is sponsored by Know Rare. Know Rare is committed to increasing awareness of and access to clinical studies in rare diseases. The research and clinical study process is not fully understood or easy to navigate, and Know Rare can expedite contact directly with the researchers who can explain the study in detail and clarify the requirements for participation. 

Now more than ever, we need companies like Know Rare. Their team not only connects dots to clinical studies, I know first hand they care deeply about creating community. 

I’ve been grateful to them for supporting Rare Disease Girl and my mission. Check them out on Instagram or at knowrare.com - you might see a familiar face.

Thanks, Know Rare!

COMMENT OF THE WEEK

Great post, Taylor. I agree that love is a powerful and perhaps misunderstood. To think tech giants think AI can replace it 😉

If you’re new here and wondering, “what happened to this lady?” read:

I started writing this when I was on dialysis. It’s intended to be both memoir and a practical tool to help folks who might be going through something similar or those caregivers and family supporting someone with a challenging diagnosis. NOTE: This is not intended to replace actual medical guidance. Please consult your doctors on your individual challenges and situations. Please talk to your clinicians before adjusting any of your care protocols. Also names have been changed for most of my medical staff.

Thank you to CC Couchois, Roy Lenn, and Dr. Richard Burwick for your founding level donation.